You haven’t even seen my body language!

When I heard the phrase “resting bitch face” for the first time, I finally knew why I was constantly grounded all the time in high school. All through my career, I have been reprimanded for the “look” on my face. What look? I would ask. Then it was more trouble. Like many, my family was dysfunctional but we had to pretend to others it perfect. My face would give it away.

As a full grown adult, I know when I’m giving a look. Especially when I’m in the classroom, with my hand on my hip and my eyes are lasered at one of the students that is non-stop talking, doesn’t give a flying duck, while I was trying to teach.

However, there are many times my face betrays me. I’ve lost friends, lovers and employers question me. Recently I was just reprimanded for my “body language” at a meeting. I honestly have no clue that I rolled my eyes but it offended the others therefore a, b and c will occur. I apologized for being me. I’ve been doing it all my life. You know what Mrs. said? “Why do you think that is?” I took it in a snarky way but I’m not sure it was really done in that manner.

I can rub people the wrong way sometimes but my face must be pretty exaggerated like the photo for me to be called into the principals office. I know that the young ladies that complained were miffed at me because I didn’t agree with them but I did respect their opinion and they did not respect mine nor me.

However, at this point in time those who dislike my facial features need to please let it go. I have been to therapists, psychologists,tried changing the look on my face by thinking of other things, forced smiles which make me look worse and I am so sorry my face is just my face.

It has nothing to do with anyone personally. They tried giving me “happy pills” and that isn’t the answer. It never helped when others picked on me because of it either because it only reminds that I continue to pretend to everyone that everything is alright.

White picket fences, perfect job, totally fine that I couldn’t have kids, single and loving it! 🤪